Clinton & Family Jokes make sure you don't forget Monica either
Air Force One
Joke |
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Gore and the Clinton's are flying on Air Force One. Bill looks at Al,chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a $100.00 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy."
Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten $10.00 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy".
Hillary tosses her perfectly hair-sprayed hair and says, "I could throw one hundred $1.00 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy."
Chelsea rolls her eyes,looks at all of them and says,"I could throw all of you out the window and make the whole country happy".
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Rewards |
One day Bill Clinton was out jogging -- and accidentally fell from a bridge into a very cold river. Three boys, playing along the river, saw the accident. Without a second thought, they jumped in the water and dragged the wet president out of the river.
After cleaning up he said, "Boys, you saved the President of the United States today. You deserve a reward. You name it, I'll give it to you."
The first boy said, "Please, I'd like a ticket to Disneyland!"
"I'll personally hand it to you," said Mr. Clinton.
"I'd like a pair of Nike Air Turbos," the second boy said.
"I'll buy them myself and give them to you," said the grateful defender of the Western Hemisphere.
"And I'd like a wheelchair with a stereo in it," said the third boy.
"I'll personally ... wait a second, son, you're not handicapped!"
"No -- but I will be when my father finds out whom I saved from drowning."
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Razorback Pigs |
President Clinton is arriving back in D.C. after a trip to his home state of Arkansas. He steps out of the plane carrying two pigs, one under each arm.
When he reaches the bottom of the stairs the Marine sharply salutes him as usual.
Clinton says: "I'd salute you back son, but as you can see my hands are full."
The Marine replies: "Yes Sir!, mighty fine Pigs sir!"
President Clinton responds: "These aren't just ordinary pigs Marine, they are pure Arkansas Razorback Pigs!!"
The Marine replies: "Yes Sir!, mighty fine Razorbacks Sir!"
The President then responds: "I got this one for Hillary, and this one for Chelsea!"
The Marine replies: "Yes Sir!, Good Trade Sir!"
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Tragedy |
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President Bill Clinton is visiting an elementary school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a "tragedy." One little boy stands up and offers that "If my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street when a car came along and killed him, that would be a tragedy." "No," Clinton says, "That would be an ACCIDENT." A girl raises her hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved ... that would be a tragedy." "I'm afraid not," explains Clinton. "That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS." The room is silent; none of the other children volunteer. "What?" asks Clinton, "Isn't there any one here who can give me an example of a tragedy?" Finally, a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says:"If an airplane carrying Bill & Hillary Clinton were blown up by a bomb, `that' would be a tragedy." "Wonderful!" Clinton beams. "Marvelous! And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?" "Well," says the boy, "because it wouldn't be an accident, and it certainly would be no great loss!"
| Top 5 Lawyer Jokes
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1. Q: Why don?t lawyers play hide-and-seek?
A: Nobody will look for them.
2. Q:What do you call 2000 lawyers at the bottem of the sea?
A: A good start.
3. Q. When do you recognize that a Lawyer is Lying???
A. When he opens his mouth...
4. Q: What?s the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.
5. Q. Who invented copper wire?
A. Two lawyers fighting over a penny.
Cool quote - William Shakespeare: "First thing we do is, let's kill all the lawyers.."
Other cool sites with good jokes. Some material may be considered, by some, objectional and/or obscene.
